Lost in Lima
We are in Lima, Peru. We are in Latin America. We were taken to our place of accommodation at Almirante Guisse area in Lima where IYCS-IMCS Latin American Secretariat was located. The Latin American office was in a large white building with a wall around it. Lous Maria, a priest from the Basque Country in Spain, was the chaplain. And there were others, including Julio from Equador, Nerize from Brazil and Patricia Cespedes the local person assisting the organizers. Most of them did not speak English and especially Luis Maria did not speak a word of English. When Victor and I first met his eyes, he looked at us with a lot of suspicion as if he knew we were about to unleash a series of illegal activities. We would move in and out of this house. We would later break all the rules to be free in this beautiful city.
Having joined international coordination dynamics of YCS, Victor and I were utterly lost. Fr. Joe Naliath was lost too, but he did not show that he was lost. There were a few of us in the group in Lima who belonged to the youngest among others–one of them, Etienne had a 18-year-old daughter and he was still in the student-youth movement! Those among the youngest were, Victor, Linda (from Hong Kong), Susanne from Australia and I.
We had an unforgettable exposure/immersion program in the slums in the outskirts of Lima prior to our study session, which is described in the article Canto Grande.
However, the study session was a complete disaster for Victor, Linda (and possibly Susanne) and I. Most discussions were taking place in French and Spanish. We wore headphones through which heard beautiful voices of young and amateur Peruvian translators, most of the time and also of Cathy and Pablo, two more experienced interpreters who flew in with us from Europe. Some would speak for 10min or so to come to the point of his/her intervention. By the time we heard 10min of translation of an abstract-style Spanish or French intervention, we were hallucinating! We were jetlagged and tired. We also realised the intellectual content of the discussions were far more removed from the realities we were living in. But we were young and inexperienced and did not know what to do. We listened in and from time to time made some brief but sharp and concise interventions. We don’t think anyone took us seriously–we were the youngest among the so-called young and we were the most inexperienced. Soon, we needed a distraction and were looking at the pretty and young faces of Peruvian interpreters.
When the night fell, the dinner was always over a fiesta–music from peruvian pan-flutes and drums. We all drank pisco and danced. The Peruvian interpreters joined in and whenever I tried to avoid dancing, they looked at me strangely and said, “in Peru, everyone dances!” So, even if you did not know salsa, you had to dance salsa, in your own way. Those evenings were the best part of the days during those study sessions.
Gradually, we, the young group, began to build a friendship and a bond with this group of beautiful girls from Lima who were assisting with interpretation at the study session. They voluntarily took us to Centro Commercial, city plaza and other places in Lima to show us around. They introduced us to local delicacies like ceviche. They invited us to parties at their homes–birthday of Rommy de los Rios and a party at the home of J. G fell in love with another student, S, from Sri Lanka. But S tried to tell G that he has a girlfriend. She gently let him go, quite painfully. I was getting attracted to one girl–J, a Chinese Peruvian girl, but there was one big issue. It was apparent that my teammate Victor was also interested in J! That was a hell of a problem. I could not even come close to J, because Victor’s hand was always over J’s shoulder. What can I do? I just let myself–usual passive observer. I am not sure whether I told Linda about how I felt about J to her in Lima. But Later on I did tell Linda as I needed someone to know. I remember one evening, Linda told me she wanted to give a present to J. Linda and I shopped and she chose a large pair of silver hoop earrings. When Linda gave it to J, she immediately wore them and they looked perfect on her. Right then when we wanted to take a photo, here came victor and put his hand over the shoulder of J. He kept adding to my suffering.
These nights out continued beyond the study session. When we had to move back to the house where Latin American office was, there was a serious issue. They closed the gate at around 10pm or so. So, we had to climb over the wall to sneak into the compound in the early morning hours when we were returning from partying in Lima. Last year (2015), when I met Lawrencia, she would disclose the other side we did not know. Lawrencia (a Korean) was part of the International Team. She told me that there were crisis talks among the organizers, especially the International Team and Latin American Team about our group on what to do and how to deal with this unruly group. They knew we were disappearing into the night in Lima and did not know what we were up to. Of course, we were also skipping some official gathering, dinners and parties so our absence was quite obvious to them. The problem for them was, we were the youngest and they did not know where we were or what we were doing. Not to forget that Peru was also under attack by Sendero Luminoso, the Shining Path guerillas.
Our friendship with the Lima girls grew day to day during our last days in Lima. To make the record straight, there was nothing more than friendship involved. That friendship continues to this day–I am connected to J, Rommy and G over Facebook. And I was able to meet J briefly in June 2015 near Charlotte, NC, where she lives now with her family.
Soon the day for us to leave Lima arrived. J told us that she would come to see us off. G told S that she would come to see him off too. I was waiting for that moment to see J for the last time. We went to the Lima airport. G was there but not J. I was quite sad and my heart was pounding so fast with a kind of sorrow. Finally, just before we went in, J arrived and we could bid our farewells. I boarded the flight with the heaviest heart I have had to that day. I sat next to Victor quietly. Victor noticed something wrong and asked me, “Hey Sanjee, are you OK?” I said, “yes,” and looked away. He did not give up, and asked again, “hey, you seem not well! Are you OK?” At that moment I realized I had let go of what I was holding inside. I told him “of course, I am NOT OK! I am in love with a girl and unfortunately, you like that girl too” At that point, Victor asked “which girl?” I was kind of shocked, “which girl? You don’t know?” I was thinking to myself and had an angry look at him. Then I told him, “don’t pretend you don’t know! It’s J!” Victor, lowered his head and placed his hands over his head. “Sanjee, you misunderstood! Why did you not tell me? I had no such feelings!” and went on and on. I could not believe what I was hearing. But trusted him. And started regretting not telling him earlier. How could I have told him? I have only known him for a month and we have not bonded enough to share those kinds of feelings. Anyway, right after that, Victor changed dramatically, and went very quiet. It was for the first time I have seen him go quiet like that! He then gave me a postcard and asked me to write something to J. He told me that he would pay for the stamp and post it in Geneva. I did not know what I wrote, but I wrote something, nothing serious, on the postcard and gave it to Victor. Victor now had a mission in hand to remedy the situation and the first step was to make sure the postcard is posted.